Thursday, May 8, 2008
5:51 PM
A funeral for my once loved youth.
I left school early because i was lying there like a dead fish. I received a message this morning from "mum" saying "have you eaten the croissant?" And because i wasn't using that line at that time i didn't see the msg until much later.
I went down and i looked into the fridge but there was nothing there so i was like, mum, where are all the croissants man. And she went, what croissants? And i said, the ones you msged me about just now! She insisted she didn't so i showed her the msg and we both frowned at it for awhile.
Then she asked, whose phone it was and i was like it's kenny's spare. And so my more intelligent mum said, could it be his mum? And shit i checked the message details and realised that it really from his mum. I called him right after and asked where the breakfast he was supposed to pass to me was and he had already eaten it (!!)
I think kenny would kill me if i start questioning my purpose of existence all over again. If i could just stop thinking for a minute.
At this very moment, my life is up for rent, any takers?
Each smile does not fully blossom. Each laugh is broken down and hesitation is injected in. You're dying to finally laugh with those eyes closed. They are swollen from fatigue. Drowning in such self-pity again, can't you come up with something new? Shoot me again. So i'll be able to stop hanging for my life. Shoot me brutally and hard, so that these endless small bolts are replaced with one final huge blow. I can just imagine that last breath. I'm fantasizing about it. It'll be slow. It'll be gentle. It'll be mine forever.
