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Monday, November 19, 2007 5:59 AM

To the part where I begin to sense her distance,
I panic and hold on tighter


I've a dreadful habit of talking to myself, very excessively. And sometimes i ask myself, just what the hell are you doing? Like right now, it's six in the morning and i'm still trying to come up with something to soothe my restlessness and my mounting boredom. The lack of sleep knocked me out early this afternoon and i fell helpless to the bed, serving five hours of sleeping time.

I bought an organiser. Thinking of how i mindlessly got through 07 without one irks me and makes me want to crumble in my stupidity. The need to make up for lost time is compelling. Just like my tutor said, i have a new life now (haha). I will religiously follow lectures and shower homework with attention.

There will always be some things about myself that i would never ever comprehend. And for this matter, i wonder how people should understand me when i don't even know my core. I hate messy rooms, i could spend hours packing until i'm finally satisfied but then again, i'm always amazed at how my room reverts to its unforgivable disorganised state.

Jan, mich and cris will be coming over in a few hours time. I wonder if i should jump into bed and force my eyes shut or just stay up and greet them with lovely dark circles. I'm seriously contemplating if i should try sleeping pills too, partly just for the kicks.

I've a terrible craving for tea and toast now.

First of November 1998
I was thinking of what to say when I would call
Denise come over to my house cause you’re the one for me
We’ll drink cheap wine and watch for shooting stars

If only I had one wish
I’d want a million trillion life times that I could spend with you
I'd Fall in love with you again and again


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